Lately my life has been a box of chocolates… every bite I take, I’m continually surprised and honestly didn’t know what I’m going to get!
The irony is, I hate life this way! Who likes total surprises and who likes to have all of your plans and schemes flipped upside down by life? I don’t know anyone who actually likes this kind of life… but I’m starting to realize that a proper outlook can save a lot of headaches!
For about 2 years now, I have been in an unsettled state… work has been chaotic at best, ministry has been up and down and all the way around, and I started a Masters program in the midst of the busiest season of my life! Life has been off the charts for a while and recently it got even scarier!
My family has always been a safe place for me, a refuge to remind me why I do what I do… and a healthy reminder of the gifts God has given me; not to mention my constant need for Him to intervene in my life! But that’s just it… I seem to have forgotten the gifts of God! Slowly but surely I have been doing a lot of this “on my own”. God has been around, and He has certainly been there; not because of me and my desire for it, but because his character insists on it! I’ve been lucky to get this far without unraveling and I now realize the damage I have done with my life on “my terms”!!!
Worry has overtaken me at times, and it has been my companion for the last 3 months. This worry has led to bitterness in some areas and with some people. It has led to me seeking another way, a way around it all, when I should be asking for a way through! I want to get around this situation, and maybe God is asking me to go through it and come out the other side better for it. Worry is our enemy, and I have been “sleeping with the enemy” for too long now. Jesus asks if worry can add a single hour to the span of our lives… I would argue that worry not only can’t add anything to our lives, it is the hidden subtractor! My worry has taken me off course. My worry has strained relationships. My worry has made an already busy life… busier! This should not be the case. And my worry is revealing something deeply spiritual… I want to run the show! The show of my life is in my hands as far as I’m concerned, and that is the fuel for my worry. Let’s be honest, I have a role to play, but when I let all of the weight fall onto my shoulders, I miss the grace and mercy of God waiting to shoulder some of the load.
So today, I’m committing to praying more and worrying less. Praying more and worrying less means I’m not in this alone, and all of the burden is not sitting on my shoulders where it reeks havoc on my mind, will and emotions.
Are you finding yourself burdened with worry, and is that worry sitting on your shoulders like a ton of bricks? If you find yourself there, or you know someone who is… may we all learn to accept the fact that taking control of everything seems like a good thing in the beginning, but in the end it reveals itself for what it is… sin. We miss the mark of God at the center of our lives when we take control. Taking control is the story of the garden of Eden. Eating the fruit was about taking control, it wasn’t about eating a piece of fruit… the fruit and the temptation was all about who is in control. When God is in control we are tempted to eat the fruit, but we realize it’s a mistake… when we want control, we gladly eat the fruit and don’t see the real consequences until we have others eating out of our hands and it’s too late for everyone involved! May you see the fruit of worry for what it is and give control back to God, I’m realizing he is better at it anyway : )