Recently I have been praying and asking God to make my life count for something beyond myself! The past 10 years I have been living life primarily for Me and for my family; And I hope and pray they are better people because I’m a father and husband to them. But lately this kind of living is not enough for me! I have this need to make my life count for the kingdom of God! If it doesn’t count for the kingdom, my life will not be fulfilled… this is the feeling I have deep in my bones! It’s something I can no longer escape and this feeling is so deep inside of me I’m beginning to see life in a completely different light!
I was talking with a trusted friend a few weeks ago about this new passion inside of me… this thing that seems to be telling me to chase the dreams and calling God has placed in me no matter what. I was telling him about my fears and concerns with this new passion. I believe this THING is from God, but I have always worried how this stuff was going to affect my family. Would they be able to navigate through this calling with understanding, or would it seem like daddy is dragging them into his own little fantasy world they never asked to be apart of? And if the transitions are too hard would they resent me? Would they understand as I asked them to give up some of the very things I have been killing myself to provide for the last 10 years?
Then my friend said something that rocked my world, and makes me tear up in amazement AND anger as I type this. I’m amazed because his words hit home so deep that I knew he was right… and I was angry with myself for not filtering through my decisions in the past with this same philosophy… my wise friend said,
“I understand you worry about how this (following God) will affect them, but have you asked yourself how it will affect them if you don’t follow God?”
This conversation changed everything for me! I have been asking the wrong questions for a long time! I’ve been worried about how following God will affect my family, because it may disrupt some of the comforts and luxuries in life I have been so proud to provide, when I should be worried how not following God will affect them and their futures! My friend was right on the money! If I choose not to chase after God because of how it might affect others, I fail to realize that not following God has its consequences as well!
Jesus said, “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.” Matt (10:37)
I’ve come to embrace a new way of life and a new outlook on what life should be like considering the gifts and calling of God on our lives… I want to model for my kids that above all else, we follow Jesus and respond to His calling without apology… even if everyone else thinks your nuts 🙂
May we all come to live a life that matches our God-given gifts, talents, and callings for the advancement of the Kingdom of God!